Pulling Back the Curtain: Reading the Journals of Someone You Admire

Pulling Back the Curtain: Reading the Journals of Someone You Admire

Alan Rickman had no idea who I was and that was probably for the best because neither did I.

I have just finished reading Madly Deeply, the Diaries of Alan Rickman. In the last few weeks, I have had to work through what he actually meant to me beyond that I loved him when I was 12 and sort of never got out of the habit. What started out as a severely weird preteen crush turned into something else. Was he a role model? I never wanted to be an actor and there were any number of people I sought to base my life on that weren’t him (I’ve always wanted to read and write all day in my pajamas, and his journals showed me that he traveled a lot). 

I never wrote him a fan letter and I assume had he known about me he would have told me to go find a Jonas Brother. In his journals, he describes an encounter with a starstruck fan as leading to the realization, “that [the fan was] staring at someone frazzled, dusty and ordinary.”

I have absolutely outgrown this. Right?

It never grew to the level of a parasocial relationship or anything — I never felt like I knew Rickman or that he was my friend. When I finally came around to the idea that he was much too old for me and in a very long relationship to boot, I just thought he’d be a good person to talk to, to get advice from. In short, he was influential in my life. I read Jane Austen because of Sense and Sensibility. My Name is Rachel Corrie made me curious about Palestine. In the journals he talks about, “people who absolutely shaped what I do, what I am doing, and who I am” and he was certainly one of those people for me.

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9 Inventive Robot Books for Kids

9 Inventive Robot Books for Kids

Robots and children’s stories have gone together for decades, but in the modern era, it’s no wonder that robot books for kids are more popular than ever. A strong candidate for the first fictional robot comes from children’s fiction, before the word ‘robot’ itself even came into use — Tik-Tok, a mechanical character in L. Frank Baum’s book Ozma of Oz, published in 1907. Today, well over 100 years later, we’re living in an age of revolutionary AI and breakthroughs in the field of robotics, from Boston Dynamics’ dancing robots to AI generators that can create images from your dreams (or your nightmares). For children growing up today, storybook robots represent the near future or even the present, not the far-future sci-fi that they embodied for previous generations.

There are plenty of robot books for kids of all ages. Fiction and nonfiction, practical and fantastic, there’s a robot story for every reader. Some are based on real-world robots, like the Mars Rovers, while others take the concept of a helpful robot and run with it, creating a brand-new world. Whether your young robot fan is still into picture and board books, or reading independently, there’s a robot-themed book ready for them. Here are some of the best ones!

Curiosity: The story of a Mars Rover by Markus Motum

This beautiful picture book tells the story of Curiosity, the Mars Rover who landed on the surface of the planet in 2012. Told from the perspective of Curiosity, the book describes this famous robot’s journey right from the beginning, from her creation to the work she carried out gathering data on Mars. Children will love following Curiosity as she explores this new world.

Robot Girl by Malorie Blackman

Robot Girl is a punchy story by veteran sci-fi writer Malorie Blackman. In this story, Claire is excited to find out about the latest project that her scientist dad has been working on, but things quickly go wrong. Published by dyslexia-friendly publisher Barrington Stoke, this story is ideal for young readers who like short stories with high stakes.

National Geographic Readers: Robots by Melissa Stewart

Kids who want to learn more about real-life robots will love this nonfiction book, full of photos and facts that explain the science and history of robotics. National Geographic: Robots is a useful resource for a kid doing a school project or class report on robots, and it will also give budding roboticists plenty of information and inspiration.

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8 Books about Drugs, from Science to Politics

8 Books about Drugs, from Science to Politics

With President Joe Biden pardoning thousands of people convicted of marijuana possession and the rise of microdosing psychedelics as a treatment for mental illness, now is a good time to dive in to some books about drugs, especially of the recreational variety.

Originally I wanted this list to be science-heavy, full of cool, weird books about how drugs like LSD and “magic” mushrooms came to be and how they affect our brains, but it turns out that mostly white people write those books.

Since we like a variety of voices around here, I added in the much-needed perspectives of marginalized people writing about the history and politics around the criminalization of recreational drugs, especially by way of deadly drug cartels in Latin America and the staggeringly high numbers of Black and Brown people being incarcerated for possessing or selling drugs.

I also wanted to stay away from addiction memoirs and self-help books; while those are of course necessary for the conversation — and some of my favorites to read — they aren’t the focus here.

It feels right that these political stories sit alongside the science books. Because everything in this world is political. Let’s get to it.

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The History of Fanny Hill and The Censoring of Women’s Pleasure

The History of Fanny Hill and The Censoring of Women’s Pleasure

My introduction to Fanny Hill happened through a work of historical fiction by Elizabeth Gilbert named The Signature of All Things. It is a birth-to-death story of Alma Whitaker. Gilbert presents the enigma of life from botany to the human body, and folds in science, mysticism, spirituality, psychosexuality, all in one expansive package. A large part of this novel is Alma desiring sexual experimentation, but never acting upon it. What sets her on this discovery is a copy of Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure she finds in an old closet. In many ways, Fanny Hill awakening Alma’s sexuality is symbolic of the novel’s place in history. It was and continues to be an important work in the literary canon, especially when it comes to paving the way for erotic writing to come.

What follows is an account of who Fanny Hill was and what the publishing of this work has meant for the history of erotic literature. It’s also one of the first books to be banned, leading to the formalization of laws around what is considered pornography and not. These laws were what guided the trials of works of literature to come like Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

Who was Fanny Hill?

Framed as two letters written by Frances “Fanny” Hill to an unnamed “Madam,” the novel recounts the fictional Fanny’s experience as a prostitute starting at age 15.
Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure tells the story of an orphaned 15 year old with no skill and very little education named Fanny Hill. She leaves her village to find employment in London, where she is hired by Mrs. Brown. Fanny believed her employment was legitimate and that she would be working as a maid but she discovered that Mrs. Brown ran a brothel and intended to sell her maidenhead. The prostitute that shared her room opened Fanny’s innocent eyes to the sensuality of sex. Over time, Fanny Hill comes to develop an immense amount of pride in her occupation as she flourishes and learns.

History of Publishing Fanny Hill

John Cleland, a man who frequently indulged in gambling and womanizing, wrote the novel in debtors’ prison in 1748. Denied his mistresses, his imagination went into overdrive. In 1772, he told James Boswell, a renowned biographer who penned The Life of Samuel Johnson, that he had written Fanny Hill to show a friend of his that it was possible to write about prostitution without using any “vulgar” terms. To a large extent, he does.

There is a very limited range of sexual acts described and the most interesting moment is the narrator’s shock when a man and a woman actually undress, as most of the sex described involves euphemisms and loosening and tightening of clothes at strategic points.

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Is this the greatest taboo of all?

Is this the greatest taboo of all?

Bones and All and the films that explore our worst fears

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Josephine Pryde at Soccer Club Club

October 8 – November 18, 2022

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Willie Doherty at Kerlin Gallery

October 15 – November 19, 2022

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At the Joan Didion Estate Sale

Joan Didion with her stingray corvette, Julian Wasser. Courtesy of Stair Galleries.

In November, writers began making little pilgrimages from New York City to Hudson to see Joan Didion’s things. In fact, thousands of people came to Stair Galleries, an auction house on the main drag of a town filled with antiques stores, farm-to-table restaurants, coffee shops, and stores that all seemed to be selling only five items of clothing. I made my own journey by early-morning train. Didion died this past December at eighty-seven, and a selection of her furnishings, art, books, and other things was being auctioned at an estate sale, with proceeds going to Parkinson’s research and the Sacramento Historical Society; prior to the sale, a small exhibition was open to the public, titled “An American Icon: Property from the Collection of Joan Didion.”

The word icon is fitting and perhaps inadvertently implies the way some people become like relics in life and especially in death. Didion certainly became one, via the mythology and imagery that became attached to her—who hasn’t seen that photo of her posed on the white Corvette, or in the black turtleneck, and marveled at her ineffable cool? (Both photographs were for sale.) She came, through her work but more so through her persona, to symbolize something, or a whole set of different and sometimes contradictory somethings, about being a writer, a woman, and a person of certain class at a certain time in America. And now here were her actual relics, the things that outlasted her, which might serve as little metonymies for whatever it was we tried to read into her.

The exhibition was neatly siloed into two small rooms, but it really was quite a lot of stuff, actually a quantifiable number of things (224). It was set up like an artificial apartment where Joan might have been caught in medias res for a glossy magazine spread—couches arranged around a coffee table with a cashmere blanket thrown over one of them, desks with typewriters on them, artfully stacked art books. Her books were organized into coherent sets, which would be sold that way in lots: Didion’s Hemingway, her Graham Greene, her California cookbooks, a mishmash of political nonfiction like Uncovering Clinton: A Reporter’s Story and Bush at War that one might have bought in an airport in 2002. Many of these books possessed a pleasant, weather-beaten quality, their jackets faded like they were abandoned on the patio of a Cape Cod summerhouse. There was something of a shrine constructed to California Joan, with five books about California placed around a photo of her in a straw hat, among the palm trees. Along one wall, there was large glass cabinet full of her dishware, her pots, her glasses, all the small personal odds and ends that we scavenged through. Everything had a tag stating an estimated price, all of which were quite obviously lowballs.

The press had been here before me and would come after me, all of us writing lists of her things and descriptions in little notebooks and taking pictures we couldn’t resist posting online. (Taking stock of her belongings like this reminds me of seeing Didion’s perennially Instagrammed and impossibly chic packing list, which includes “2 skirts, 2 jerseys or leotards…cigarettes, bourbon.”) Why were we here? Did we want to know if Didion had good taste? The answer to that question was mostly yes, or at least that she had the good taste of a specific milieu, that of a California WASP in the latter part of the last century: Le Creuset cookware, heavy gilt mirrors, Loro Piana cashmere, monogrammed napkins, a rattan chair, a bamboo-and-lacquer side table. There was plenty to covet, though there was also plenty one wouldn’t want—hefty, overwrought silverware, the kind one used to inherit and still might, and some really appalling watercolors. I am always struck by how things that feel like they belong in a particular time and place insist on lasting, lasting past the person who assembled them and made them into a life.

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Hello, World! Part Four: George Dorn

Illustration by Na Kim.

Read parts one, two, and three of “Hello, World!”

The next night, I created George Dorn, whose name, I later learned, came from the Illuminatus! trilogy, written by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, published in 1975. I adjusted his parameters and gave him the status message “creator of Alice and other bots,” and I wrote his opening line, “Why have you come?” In this way, I tried to distract myself from my guilt over the real human developers of chai.ml, who had made Eliza as well as the template I had used for creating Alice, whose time I had wasted by last-minute canceling our meeting, and who I feared were still mad at me.

 

Why have you come?

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On The Continent: The most open World Cup since 2006

On the pitch, this might be the best World Cup for a generation. But off the pitch, it couldn’t be worse.


Dotun and Andy are joined by Miguel Delaney to discuss these two ‘parallel’ World Cups. They explore the state of play for Europe’s elite and wonder whether the Cristiano Ronaldo sideshow will derail Portugal’s hopes. We also discuss how Qatar’s entrenched relationship with European football – and France especially – has led us to this point, as both France’s president and the captain of their national team call on fans to focus on the football.


Got a question for us? Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..


Pete's Film Club will return this World Cup - exclusive to Patreon subscribers! Sign up for our Patreon for exclusive live events, ad-free Rambles, full video episodes and loads more: patreon.com/footballramble.


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