It's the bloomin' weekend and luckily for you, it's full of Nations League excitement. Seriously though, the whole football calendar is an absolute mess.

Marcus, Luke and Vish embark on the challenge of trying to fix the window, whilst also asking whether fans actually prefer boring football.

Oh, and listener Charlie has a wedding conundrum that we're called into action for advice on.

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Lee Carsley experimented with starting all the cooks for England and what transpired was one confusing broth. Today, Luke tells Marcus and Vish why England need a manager that is brave enough to drop some of England’s more talented players.

Elsewhere, we celebrate Marcello Lippi’s birthday and is Ole Gunnar Solskjaer positioning himself to have another shot at the Man United job? We bloody hope so…

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Is that… a half fit Harry Kane trundling up the pitch? Oh YES! International football is back and England face Greece tonight!

Marcus, Pete and Andy celebrate with wedding cake in the post (Marcus wishes), a sprinkling of David Beckham nostalgia, and some angry reviews of Andrés Iniesta’s vineyard to finish. Plus, Pete’s verdict on some wild fits in the French squad. Better than Harry Maguire’s ‘man accused of insider training’ chic, I suppose. Come join us!

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Manchester City laid the smallest of gloves on the Premier League this week. But what does it all mean? Today, Marcus and Andy crossover to our official legal reporter Pete Donaldson for some fascinating insight into this new development.

Elsewhere, Jurgen Klopp has somehow found the energy for a new job - a case of Red Bull will do that for you - and Andy explains the real reason why Man United appointed Ruud van Nistelrooy as Erik ten Hag’s assistant. Plus, Fizzer’s boys are on the march!

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This is a podcast we think you’re going to love. Our friends at Stak have made a unique six-part documentary about hooliganism in English football.

For decades, it dominated headlines, merging the two things England loves most: football and fear. But football hooliganism didn’t disappear. 

This series digs deeper – beyond the tabloid articles, beyond the stereotypes – to understand what first attracts people to this subculture and why it’s forced its way back into our society in 2024.

Today, you’ll hear Episode 1: Kicking Off. Subscribe at https://lnk.to/englishdisease or search 'The English Disease' to listen to Episode 2 and 3 right now. New episodes drop every Tuesday throughout October.

Extraordinary sporting stories that really matter. From Stak, this is Legacy.

Well, it looks like Erik Ten Hag has bought himself a bit of time following one of the dullest games the Premier League has ever seen. In other words, exactly what the big man needed.

But in better news for the Dutchman, Ten Hag wasn't the biggest bald fraud at Villa Park on Sunday. Nope, that honour would go to his ballboy doppelgänger who we're calling Timmy (what's a grown man doing in that role anyway?).

Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to dissect all the rest of the Premier League action before the real football starts this week. Bring on that international break!

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Is it Tottenham’s fault that people call 2-0 a dangerous scoreline? Today, even Jim admits to Marcus and Pete that he has some sympathy for Spurs fans after they gave up a 2-0 lead against Brighton.

Elsewhere, Adama Traoré gets the Nathan Redmond treatment after he broke London speed limits against Man City on Saturday. Plus, Andy Carroll is doing King and Country proud over in France. One last England call-up? Who says no…

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After the Emirates began to empty out despite Arsenal’s 2-0 lead over PSG, should fans who leave early be called out for their disloyalty? Or should we all just stop whining about it? Luke, Andy, and Vish tackle one of football’s big taboos.

Elsewhere, with the old guard of managers almost completely gone (just you left now, Dychey), have managerial mind games become a thing of the past?

Plus, why are more players returning to their old clubs and what are our favourite football noises? No, Gary Neville’s orgasm doesn’t count...

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Could Pete kick through a door? That’s the big question he poses to Luke, Andy and Vish on today’s Ramble.

Elsewhere, Andy also finds some time to explain why Man United won’t sack Erik ten Hag just yet, Luke backs the decision to call up Dominic Solanke to the England squad, and Pete is forced to talk about Only Fools and Horses The Musical.

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And to mark the occasion Pete and Luke are sniffing some mysterious minty white powder. IT’S MENTHOL, ALL RIGHT!

They discuss that Jhon Durán goal, that Emi Martínez save, and whether this was the greatest night in Villa’s history since Steve Bruce had that cabbage thrown at his head.

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Marcus, Luke and Jim discuss whether the dark arts are becoming more common in modern football. Why are we answering that question now, you ask? Well, no reason…

Plus, which players would we like to bring out of retirement and what should the punishment be for managers leaving their technical area? Come join us!

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Qarabag could have descended on the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on a fleet of bikes. Qarabag’s manager Gurban Gurbanov COULD have been drinking some Carabao in a caravan. But no: instead Spurs had to go and beat them.

Marcus, Jim, Luke and Vish look ahead to Ange Postecoglou’s date with destiny and Erik ten Hag. Plus, Jason Tindall rocks up to St James’ Park dressed as a judge and Fenerbahçe reach the height of pettiness. Jose Mourinho is their manager, after all. Plus, a TITANIC game of Jack’s Encyclopaedia!

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It was far from plain sailing but Liverpool were ruthless against West Ham in the Rigobert Song derby, while in the Steve McClaren derby Man United reminded the big man just why he’s put the Atlantic Ocean between him and Old Trafford. Marcus and Andy are here to discuss everything from the Carabao Cup and Europa League!

Plus, Fabio Borini is still at large! You read that right. Find out all about it – only on Ramble Reacts!

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THE RAMBLE. A podcasting masterpiece towering 500 metres above sea level, but a land-saving 200 metres wide. #RambleNationalDay

Marcus, Luke and Jim react to the latest Carabao downpour and Chris Smalling’s latest outpouring of love for NEOM. Elsewhere, listeners give AFC Wimbledon’s fundraiser a Ramble twist and Everton’s new owner considers landing a spitfire on the pitch at Goodison Park. Plus, Rodri’s injured for the season and Jim gets injured by hypocrisy. Join us!

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Time for a Tuesday tickle! Marcus, Vish and Jim discuss Aston Villa’s breakneck start to the season and Morgan Rogers and Ollie Watkins turning into a quality big man, bigger man partnership.

Plus, we wonder just how good Newcastle are after a disastrous time of it at the tweediest stadium in the Premier League – while their former man Andy Carroll gets dragged out of a vineyard and immediately scores two goals for Bordeaux. Plus, a player in Wales gets arrested midway through a football match. ODB… is that you?

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Join Marcus, Jim and Vish as we recap the biggest game of the season so far, where Arsenal had to be at their dastardly, ugly best to keep Man City at bay. It’s refreshing to see two sides who genuinely can’t stand each other. 

We also whip round the rest of what proved to be a cracking Premier League weekend as Luis Diaz brought the fireworks, West Ham continue to welcome opponents in with open arms and the calls for Danny Welbeck to get a surprise England call-up grow ever louder. From one chair in particular… 

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A listener gets in touch asking how Rodri can possibly complain about too many games when he signed a new Man City contract after the new Champions League format was announced. Marcus, Luke and Andy discuss the idea that players should take matters into their own hands and begin rejecting new contracts if they’re really serious about the tough schedule.

Elsewhere, players that never played in the Prem who would’ve been perfect for the league – and which bald Premier League mangers would best suit their own player's hair? Light and shade people, light and shade…

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The Football Ramble have managed to gain exclusive access to Mikel Arteta’s team talk for their trip to Man City on Sunday… “Live. Laugh. Love.”

Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete look ahead to the thigh rubber of the weekend and propose that Kevin De Bruyne and Martin Odegaard have an arm wrestle on the sidelines to entertain the crowd. Elsewhere, Anthony Gordon drives a VERY BIG car and Cagliari’s flamingo mascot takes pelters from their own fans.

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Join us at the London Palladium TONIGHT for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!

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Could players really go on strike? And just how much will certain journalists at certain newspapers lose their nut if they do?

Night two of three in the first week of the Champions League was overshadowed by Rodri’s comments that a strike might soon be the only option. Marcus and Luke discuss that and remember the time that former Pompey man Jon Gittens called the ref a chicken nugget.

There’s also time to check in on Spurs, who narrowly escaped a massive upset in the Carabao Cup – but Luke thinks Big Ange will still be celebrating Christmas back in Melbourne…

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Join us at the London Palladium THIS FRIDAY for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your last minute tickets at footballramblelive.com!

The Champions League is back and it was an emphatic night for Aston Villa on their return to Europe's top table. *Insert gag about it looking like men against boys*.

Elsewhere, Marcus, Luke, Vish and Pete dine on some tasty Carabao after Man United’s big win last night and Paul Mullin almost dined on Alex Cochrane in the “Hollywood” derby. Plus, Andy Carroll is set to spend the year drinking wine in the south of France and we couldn’t be happier for him.

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We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!

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