That’s a paddlin’

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to rightfully scold Tottenham after they dared to execute a succinct game plan against our brave Merseyside title chasers. Some mild scorn is reserved for Watford, whose grim season comes to an inevitable end.


Elsewhere, Vish documents his stint in purgatory as Man United sink to a seemingly new low, while Peter Shilton reminds us all he’s indeed had the last laugh.


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‘Probably not the answers that we want’ – Arsenal boss downbeat on defensive options

Mikel Arteta has claimed that he has no good news on Arsenal pair Ben White or Gabriel Magalhaes ahead of our clash with Newcastle on Monday, but he hopes there is better news tomorrow.

The English defender has been missing since we took on West Ham, but things got worse on Thursday when Rob Holding saw red to mean that he will be suspended for our upcoming fixture, while the Brazilian limped off and needs to be assessed.

With Thomas Partey already missing in midfield, the thought of having to drop one of Granit Xhaka or Mo Elneny into defence means weakening us further up the field, and news that both of our two centre-backs could remain sidelined is certainly worrying. Arteta claims we will have a better understanding of their condition in the coming days however.

The manager told Arsenal Media: “We will know probably more tomorrow, so we wanted to extend this period as much as possible to understand how they are recovering, how they are feeling, assess them and tomorrow probably we will know more about how they are.”

Arteta went onto claim that it would be unlikely that he will be calling on young and inexperienced players, adding: “We will have to modify certain positions to try to make it work, because we don’t have more defenders and even though we have academy players, they haven’t experienced a lot of those positions because they’re not specified central defenders, so it’s something that we will try to find a way.”

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Arsenal and Newcastle to miss out as manager rules out target’s departure

Carlo Ancelotti has claimed that Eden Hazard will not be leaving Real Madrid this summer, despite reported interest from Newcastle and Arsenal.

The Belgian international has failed to find his best form since moving to La Liga from Chelsea in 2019, and could well have got the chance to return to the Premier League this summer.

Carlo Ancelotti has poured cold water on such reports however, by claiming that he will be staying to prove himself in the Spanish division instead.

Carlo Ancelotti announces: “Eden Hazard will stay here at Real Madrid next season”. #RealMadrid @SQuirante

“Hazard’s plan is very clear, he wants to show his quality next season”. pic.twitter.com/X1YDKbZAGo

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‘Would it really excite me? – Arsenal urged to aim higher than target

Arsenal have been linked with a move to sign Dominic Calvert-Lewin from Everton this summer, but Kevin Phillips wants the club to aim higher.

The England international may be in want of a move to a bigger club, but given his struggles throughout the current term, it is difficult to argue his cause.

Phillips claims he can see why we are supposedly interest in his signing, but as an Arsenal fan he simply doesn’t want to see us invest a substantial sum in bringing him to north London.

“It’s a strange one,” he told the Football Insider.

“I think when he’s fully fit and firing, I can see it. But putting my Arsenal cap on, as an Arsenal fan – would it really excite me?

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Former Gunner praises potential departee amidst West Ham interest

Kevin Campbell has heaped praise on Arsenal loanee Dinos Mavropanos with West Ham claimed to be eyeing his potential signing.

The Greek international is currently on loan with Bundesliga side Stuttgart where he has been enjoying a fine season, but with the club currently under the threat of relegation, they are unlikely to be able to keep hold of him beyond the season.

Stuttgart do have an option to buy the defender, one which you would expect them to take up, even if the decision was then to sell him on for a profit should they succumb to relegation.

West Ham are now being linked with his potential signing this summer as they look to continue to bolster their squad, and former Arsenal striker Kevin Campbell has praised the defender amidst links with such a move.

“From what I’ve heard, he’s done really well in Germany,” Campbell told the FootballInsider.

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West Ham boss claims Arsenal are difficult to understand

David Moyes has claimed that it’s ‘quite difficult’ to understand Arsenal’s set pattern ahead of his West Ham side’s clash with Arsenal.

The Gunners are hoping to make it three wins in a row as they look to close in on a top-four finish, having a two-point lead over Tottenham in the table at present.

After recent wins over both Chelsea and Manchester United, we now have the tough challenge of going away to London rivals West Ham, and their manager has praised the job being done by Mikel Arteta, before admitting that it is difficult to understand our patterns of play.

“I think he’s done a really good job,” Moyes told reporters during his pre-match conference (via the club’s official website.

“They were in the semi-finals of the Europa League last year and it shows how well they have come on from what they have done last year, so I am sure Mikel wants his teams to be in Europe (again).

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Arteta expects his young Arsenal team to take “another leap” with summer investment

Despite many Arsenal fans not giving any credit to Mikel Arteta, despite bringing in half a team of unnkown younsters last summer, and somehow guiding them into the fight for the Top Four spot, the fact is that him and his half-baked team have worked wonders this season.

If we can win again tomorrow against our local rivals West Ham, we are most definitely in the driving seat again, unless Tottenham can pull off another miracle by beating Liverpool at Anfield next week.

Arteta himself is very happy with the way the team has developed, and cannot help but praise them and fully expects the youngsters to improve even further next season, with a few new additions in the coming transfer window.

The boss made it clear at the end of last summer that we were only half-way through our rebuilding project, and we should see a lot more progress ahead of the next campaign. “I think the team has made a great leap at the level of identity, game, style, clarity… And obviously, the ability that has given us to be able to repeat line-ups, the power to repeat the system and the power to repeat movements, dynamics, structures that we want, has made it easier for us, it has given us a lot of fluidity and security”, explains the Spanish coach on DAZN’s podcast (translated by Google).

LONDON, ENGLAND – APRIL 23: Mikel Arteta, Manager of Arsenal gives their team instructions during the Premier League match between Arsenal and Manchester United at Emirates Stadium on April 23, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Catherine Ivill/Getty Images)

“They have shown that they have the ability to win games and be decisive, and they have done so in a very consistent way for many games, ”

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Mixed news on Arsenal’s potential signing of striker with 33 goals this term

Fabrizio Romano has claimed that reported Arsenal target Darwin Nunez ‘will leave’ Benfica this summer, but adds that he will not be moving on cheaply.

The Gunners are unlikely to be alone in their pursuit of Nunez, who has scored 33 goals in all competitions this season, although we are believed to be eyeing alternatives also.

It is unclear where his future lies at present, but Fabrizio Romano insists that he will be on the move in the coming window, and that they have already opened talks over his replacement.

“Darwin Nunez will leave the club, and €75m now could not be enough,” Romano apparently wrote on his social media (via Football.London). “Talks opened for David Neres as target, confirmed as reported by @ojogo – but nothing agreed yet.”

Our chances of signing have to be boosted with his club seemingly having accepted his departure, but whether we are ready and willing to splash out in excess of €75 Million (£63 Million) to land him remains to be seen.

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Arteta admits how important Thomas Partey is to Arsenal’s shape and tactics

When Arsenal bought Thomas Partey from Atletico Madrid in 2020, the Ghanain came with an impeccable reputation and an injury-free record, and was fully expected to come straight in and boss our midfield straight from the off.

But after leaving Madrid, due to the Covid problems he went straight off to internationals and then straight back into the Premier league. It is little surprise he came down with injury problems which have never really left him. Last season, he only managed 24 appearances for the Gunners, and he had just reached that total again before succumbing to yet another season-ending injury.

Thomas he has been one of our best players since Christmas and Mikel Arteta has been speaking about how much he has to change his tactical setup without his midfield general, and how important Partey is to the team as a whole. ‘The stats are there and they are unquestionable,’ Arteta told the Daily Mail.

‘The win rate when Thomas is there is higher. It is something that is not good for us because in the last two seasons he has not been there as much as we want.’

‘We need him to play in that role on his own, with the quality he brings and the experience that he brings. And the fact he brings things that are unique that we want.

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Should Arsenal avoid deals that could strengthen West Ham? (Opinion)

West Ham are claimed in the DailyMail to be showing interest in a deal to sign Nicolas Pepe from Arsenal, but should we be weary of deals with our London rivals?

I think there is little doubt that under the right conditions Pepe will thrive and he could potentially land at a top side again later in his career, but for a number of reasons, it just isn’t working out for him in north London at present.

While Mikel Arteta has shown a strong preference in having Gabriel Martinelli, Bukayo Saka and Emile Smith Rowe ahead of him in the pecking order, and it is hard to argue against that decision with all of that trio thriving down the wings, and it now seems inevitable that the former Lille man will be leaving the club in the coming window.

While we will likely sell to the highest bidder, I feel like we should be weary of West Ham, who have shown that they could well be challenging for the European places on a consistent basis, and allowing Pepe to join them could well come back to bite us in the coming years.

Newcastle are an obvious threat to our future hopes given their new mega-rich owners, but they will time to build the squad that can propel them up the table on a consistent basis, while the threat of David Moyes side is right in our face at present.

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Former Gunner tells Arsenal target to stay put

Paul Merson has claimed that Gabriel Jesus should not leave Manchester City for Arsenal, claiming that ‘Pep Guardiola trusts him’.

The Gunners are expected to add at least one new forward to their attack this summer, with Alexandre Lacazette and Eddie Nketiah into the final months of their current contracts.

While our interest in City’s Jesus was seemingly confirmed last weekend, Paul Merson doesn’t believe he should make the move to the Emirates, and should stay with his current side.

‘Gabriel Jesus should stay at Manchester City. There’s speculation about his future and people think he’s unhappy he doesn’t play enough – but he’s started 17 Premier League games this season,’ Merson wrote for his column in the Daily Star.

‘I think that’s a lot. He’s played 36 times for City this season. And started a lot of big, big games. Where is he going to go where he can do any better than that?

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Is Tavares set to be replaced as Arsenal enquire about Serie A star?

Arsenal are claimed to have enquired with Bologna about the availability of Aaron Hickey, which could mean an end to Nuno Tavares’s role as Kieran Tierney’s backup.

The Portuguese has proved to be a raw talent this term, and while he has impressed on occasions, he has proved costly in others.

His name on the teamsheet does worry me unfortunately, and reports by ViolaNews who cite Radio Kiss that we are interested in a deal to sign Aaron Hickey is one that I hope comes through. The 19 year-old made the brave move to leave Scotland for Italy shortly after his 18th birthday, and while his debut season may not have been as fruitful as he would have liked, he has really found form this term.

While I would love to see him come in as backup to Tierney, I feel like he would turn down a move to any club that couldn’t guarantee him regular playing time. He supposedly snubbed Bayern Munich for Bologna due to guarantees on his playing time, and it would seem like a backwards move in that context knowing that his fellow Scotsman will take some budging from his role as first choice.

Does our efforts to sign Hickey mean that Tavares will be moved on in the summer? Do you think Hickey could challenge Tierney for his role at LB next term?

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Is it true ‘The Arsenal’ have never been relegated? – Here are the facts…

If Burnley win at Watford on Saturday it means Everton have to face Chelsea on Sunday 5 points from safety.

Suddenly the idea of the Toffees getting relegated, so often deemed ‘too good to go down’, becomes very real.

One of 6 clubs never to drop out of the Premiership, the Evertonians have been in the topflight since 1954, second only to Arsenal in the longest sequence of being In the English top division.

If Frank Lampard can’t sort things out, you can argue Everton would be the biggest name to finish in the bottom three in the Premier League era.

Before that time, even the likes of Man United and Liverpool found themselves in the second tier.

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The Preview Show: Give it back to Ole, ffs

Some midweek continental capers were rounded off with the Europa & Conference Leagues last night, with British sides struggling across the board. At least we saw the opening night of the John Mossy Moss Farewell Tour up at the King Power.


Marcus, Andy and Jim also look ahead to the weekend's Barclays banter, as Eddie Howe's inspiring man-management might halt Liverpool's title tilt and Norwich could be relegated if Burnley's surge continues. All on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!


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It’s alright, Des will sort it

We've just about recovered from Villarreal's disgraceful showing to get in for another Euro Ramble round-up. Imagine coming to Anfield and trying to keep it tight! PATHETIC.


Kate, Andy and Luke also look into Antonio Rudiger's confirmed departure from Chelsea, while Roy Keane casts admiring glances north of the border. There's also the small matter of the biggest game in West Ham's modern history and more Missouri brawls!


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Drink Champions League, relax

Man City’s clash with Real Madrid had it all: incredible goals, terrible defending, an outrageous panenka and multiple Pep meltdowns. Bring on next week!


Marcus, Jim and Pete relive it all and wonder who will take the spoils in Madrid. Elsewhere last night, Nottingham Forest set up a tasty shootout with Bournemouth in the Championship and Paul Pogba's only gone and left the Manchester United WhatsApp group. Plus, something about Fizzer and Sven before Marcus loses his mind.


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#NotAllTeams

Kate and Vish are joined by a tanned Jim Campbell for a look into the rumoured departure of comfort’s number one enemy, Antonio Conte. Punch glass for Poch!


Elsewhere, Leeds snagged a much-needed point last night ahead of a tricky few weeks, especially since Everton now have access to the Big Man upstairs, and Tracey Crouch’s fan-led review gets a definitely legitimate endorsement from the UK government.


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Michael Owen’s dossier of shame

Jules, Luke and Pete are here to survey the respective car-crashes that were Man United’s trip to the Emirates and Jules’ Saturday night appearance on Pointless!


We kick off with the Merseyside derby as Everton sink deeper into the quagmire while Burnley and Mike Jackson moonwalk all over it. Elsewhere, Paul Scholes lands Jesse Lingard in bother, Jorginho takes one of the worst penalties in Premier League history, and things take a turn on Planet Mark McGhee!


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The Preview Show: Movin' Too Pards

Everton need to calm their nerves after Burnley took a scary step closer last night - a Merseyside derby at Anfield will be just the tonic.


Kate, Andy and Vish look ahead to a weekend of derbies across the land, as Chelsea take on West Ham and Man Utd will no doubt puncture any joy from the Erik ten Hag announcement by captiluating at Arsenal. All of that and loads more on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!


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Nketiah Freak On

Kate, Andy and Luke recap more midweek Barclays, with Thomas Tuchel furious at his own pitch and an Angry Almiron smashing one top bins - just in time for a transfer!


Also, would you like to hear from managers at half-time? Soon you may be able to - though we realise Dundee boss Mark McGhee is probably not the man to ask.


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