The Football Ramble's Guide To... Alan Pardew

Some men graft their way to the top thanks to the fruits of their relentless labour, a graceful demeanour and a healthy slice of acknowledged luck. And other men are Alan Pardew - because when you're the king, you can do anything.

Spellso, Mooresey, Jimbo and Dono settle in for a thorough assessment of the perennial FA Cup bridesmaid, as we try to separate the art from the artist. How does Pete feel about his one decent season at Newcastle? Should he have managed England? Can he headbutt?

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