Slip on your sheepskin coat, grab your team sheet and step up to the mic - it’s time for another Guide To! 

Marcus, Luke and Pete are here to sort the magicians from the McManamans, as we break down the traits behind the best commentators around. We also hear some of the all-time classics, including a rendition of Gol de Kevin Phillips and an Andy Gray masterclass. Whatever happened to him?

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Gabriel Martinelli is claimed to have opened talks with Arsenal over a new deal after a bright start to the new season.

The forward arrived in north London from the fourth tier in Brazilian football, and surprisingly made an instant impact. He scored a memorable goal against Chelsea amidst an eye-opening debut campaign, and earned plaudits from a number of pundits as well as coming in for huge acclaim by Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp also.

Martinelli was setback by an injury however, but in the last nine months he has once again showed just how much of a threat he can be to even the best of defences.

He started the new season in top form also with two goals from two games, and the club have now decided to open talks with the 21 year-old as we look to tie him down to a new long–term deal, despite having a fair amount of time left on his current terms.

Understand that contract talks with Gabriel Martinelli have recently opened.

I know most Arsenal fans won’t believe this video clip but it really happened tonight on TalkSport after Jamie O’Hara watched the the Gunners totally dominate in tonight’s Bournemouth v Arsenal EPL game.

The totally anti-Arsenal pundit even likened Arsenal to playing like Man City, where Mikel Arteta used to be the assistant manager to Pep, and of course who Arsenal bought Zinchenko and Jesus from this summer.

Watch and believe!

“Arsenal are looking a bit special.”

“They look like Man City…”

Considering Arsenal’s form after an excellent preseason, it was no surprise that Arsenal were bristling with confidence ahead of the trip to Bournemouth, and they were yet again looking totally in control right from the kick off.

The gunners were just too quick for Bournemouth and their fast football in small spaces meant the small pitch didn’t affect them at all.

It didn’t take any time at all for Arsenal to take the lead through Odegaard, but it was the dazzling ball control from Gabriel Jesus that mesmerized the Cherries defence, and when he gave Martinelli the shot it was saved but dropped nicely to Odegaard who nimbly poked it into the net.

IT was Jesus again who did all the legwork for the second, but his touch was not quite right and Odegaard pounced again. The captain gets into the right places.

The Cherries tried to put up a fight after the break, but Arsenal were just too good when they went on the attack. The third goal was brilliantly taken by Saliba, who got his very first Arsenal goal and he fully deserved it.

Gabriel Jesus looked to have made it 4-0 to Arsenal in Bournemouth today, but VAR had other ideas.

The Brazilian was narrowly offside according the lines on the screen, but it was a sweetly struck effort from our new signing, who was involved in all four goals last weekend.

Calm as you like from Gabriel Jesus with the finish but after a VAR review his goal is chalked off!

— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) August 20, 2022

It has been a top performance from Jesus, whether he manages to cap that off with a goal or not, and I don’t think anyone will claim that he doesn’t deserve a goal for his efforts.

William Saliba has continued his fine start to the season by grabbing his first Arsenal goal against Bournemouth.

It has been a rather one-sided affair, with Martin Odegaard grabbing two First half goals, and we’ve started the second half just as strongly.

Gabriel Martinelli was the creator this time, laying off to the Young Frenchman on the edge of the box to curl his effort over the goalkeeper if into the far side of the goal with his left boot.

SALIBA THAT IS 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆

That Zinchenko reaction is every Arsenal fan pic.twitter.com/y4sJLv9OWy

Considering our new captain Odegaard got his first goal of the season after just 4 minutes against Bournemouth, it was a bit of a surprise that he has doubled our lead.

Ben White and Saka have been causing havoc down the left side of the pitch, and they did it again and when the ball broke to Jesus, his touch was just a little heavy, which allowed Odegaard to steal it off his boot and smash it into the net.

This is looking like it could be a cricket score!

COYG!

IT'S ØDEGAARD AGAIN! 2-0!

Arsenal have taken the early lead against Bournemouth after some neat work down the left from Gabriel Jesus, with Martin Odegaard finishing off the move.

It has been a bright start by the Gunners who have taken an early grip on the game, and it was some truly skilful ball control by Jesus which has opened up the opportunity to score, leaving Martinelli I space to shoot before the rebound into the path of our captain.

ØDEGAARD! ARSENAL LEAD!

How about THAT Gabriel Jesus run though… #BOUARS pic.twitter.com/hRQDW8VjQv

— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) August 20, 2022

It would appear that Mikel Arteta’s philosophy is based on “Why change a winning team unless necessary’ as seen towards the end of last season and in our first two matches in this campaign. With our Europa League games not starting for another few weeks, the boss will find it hard to keep our newly expanded squad happy.

As Arteta admitted on Arsenal.com: “I think the first three or four weeks of the competition are tricky because we are only playing once a week as there is no Europe or no cups, and we’ll have the manage the frustration of players who aren’t in the squad. But it is a long season and everyone will have their opportunities.”

But I don’t think he will be making many chancges this week, except for bringing back Tomiyasu in place of Ben White, which I discussed earlier.…

Here is the team I chose earlier…

Ramsdale
Tomiyasu….Gabriel…Saliba….Zinchenko
Partey…Xhaka
Martinelli…Odegaard…Saka
Jesus

Gabriel Jesus has hit the ground running for Arsenal since joining from Manchester City, and the latest stat shows just how much has improved our side.

The striker is believed to have been earmarked as our priority summer signing quite early on in 2022, and we are believed to have fended off interest from other big sides in order to win the race for his signature, and all our hard work appears to be paying off.

The new signing was involved in all four of our goals last weekend, scoring the first two against Leicester before teeing up Granit Xhaka and Gabriel Martinelli for the two in the second half, and the latest statistic comparing him to our main striker Alexandre Lacazette last term is surprisingly shocking.

Gabriel Jesus has had 26 touches inside the penalty area in his first two Arsenal starts, Alexandre Lacazette had 31 in all 20 of his PL starts last season.

A look at the transformational impact Arsenal’s £45m man has had on Mikel Arteta’s attack https://t.co/eb3VxDk5za

Arsenal will look to maintain their 100% record so far this season when they make the short trip to the coast to take on Bournemouth today.

The Gunners have already beaten both Crystal Palace and Leicester so far this term, scoring six goals in the process, and will be in a confident mood when they return to the pitch this evening.

Gabriel Jesus will be in an equally assured mood after being involved in all four of our strikes last weekend, scoring a first-half brace before adding two assists after the break, and he will certainly be one to look out for today.

Bournemouth have only just returned to the top flight this summer, but have already opened their account by beating Aston Villa to start their season off, but were unsurprisingly beaten by Manchester City last weekend. They may be boosted by a return to their home ground today where they currently have a 100% record at stake also, whilst knowing that they haven’t been beaten there since February, but they will be well aware of the threat posed by our side.

Despite their strong home record, I’m struggling to imagine anything but a win for our boys. I feel like are only going to get better as our confidence continues to grow, and the Cherries are unlikely to be able to stop us today. I feel like a 3-1 win is on the cards for our side, with Saka and Jesus to get their names on the scoresheet also.

Ding ding ding! The Premier League is back for its second round! In the red corner we have Marcus, Jim and Vish and in the blue corner we have a very belligerent Pete Donaldson who simply will not do any research about Chelsea vs Spurs.

We discuss that thigh-rubber and look forward to Mikel Arteta’s latest biological masterpiece! Meanwhile, Brendan Rodgers takes his players up a mountain for a metaphor, there’s more questionable scoreline news in Sierra Leone, and – what? – A BRAND NEW GAME!

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Confused as to how Barcelona have ended up in such a financial mess? Wondering whether they will be able to register their players in time for their opening game? Don't worry! Dotun, Andy and Nicky are here with some much-needed some clarity on Barça's hazy economic affairs. 

Elsewhere, we look forward to Serie A's return and discuss whether Juventus or Roma are better placed to compete with the Milan giants. We also head over to Paris to revel in Lionel Messi and Neymar's resurgence, just weeks before the French season starts!

Got a question for us? Find us on socials @footballramble.

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Andy dives into one of British football’s fiercest rivalries for our first At The Match of the season! He’s first joined by fans from both side of the divide – Matty Fairnie and Martin Geissler – to chat derby memories, before soaking up an unbelievable Easter Road atmosphere. Trust us, this episode features one of the best roars from a crowd we’ve ever recorded.

We also hear from Greg McEwan, Hibs’ Commercial Director, to understand the club behind the scenes on a matchday and there’s a truly sensational post-match interview with goalscorer, Martin Boyle!

Where should Andy go next? Send us your suggestions on Twitter @footballramble!

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Welcome to the very first episode of The Drop In! Each episode, Kate meets some of the game’s biggest names and some of its most quietly influential minds to understand who they are and some of the lessons they’ve taken away from their experiences in football and in life.

Former Premier League striker and Wales hero Thomas ‘Hal’ Robson-Kanu dropped by the studio to discuss the key to Wales’ success, why footballers can’t open up, and how he has adjusted to life without a club. He also reveals the three people who have most profoundly shaped his life.

Next up: Spurs legend Glenn Hoddle. Got a question for him? Find us on socials @footballramble.

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Marcus, Vish and Luke revel in the Premier League's glorious return, as Man United's turgid defeat to Brighton nudges them closer to signing famously amicable moron, Marko Arnautović. Yakubu's up next!

Elsewhere, Erling Haaland did his best Aleksandar Mitrović impression with two imperious goals, while Newcastle's handsome hunks got them off the mark and Mike Dean's influence is trickling down the leagues!

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GOAT Farm is one of our brand new Patreon episodes this season! Each week, we decide who makes the definitive best XI of legendary teams gone by. Sounds simple, right? Let’s face it - it probably won’t be…

If you enjoyed this teaser you can hear the full episode by signing up to our Patreon. Just $5 a month will get you Discord access and your own ad-free podcast feed with every Ramble show, including Patreon bonuses like this one!

For $10 a month you can get all that plus a video version of every Monday Ramble show, first access to Ramble merch and you'll also be invited to exclusive Friend of The Ramble live events!

It’s here: the Fulham crisis has begun, your subscription isn’t working on your telly, and the Scott Sellars t-shirt is ON!

Pete, Andy and Luke preview the return of the Premier League! Mikel Arteta’s been revealing the state secrets on 'All or Nothing' ahead of the annual Arsenal Croydon capitulation, but there’s darker clouds and plenty of leaves in the pool over at Fulham as they welcome Liverpool. Plus, Cristiano Ronaldo's being replaced by an inflatable petrol station mascot and – watch your chins – Luke’s Game is back!

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On The Continent is back! Every Thursday, Dotun and Andy are joined by the best European football journalists to drill down into the biggest stories in European football.

This week, David Cartlidge joins us to discuss PSG’s new era under Christophe Galtier. Lionel Messi has impressed in pre-season, but is that driven by a desire to return to Barcelona? We also check in on Bayern – can the chasing pack capitalise on their reshuffle behind the scenes? Plus, why Marseille are one of the most chaotic clubs in Europe right now and after all the summer business, are Barcelona actually going to be any good on the pitch come next weekend?

Got a question for us? Find us on socials @footballramble.

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Nothing’s better than the opening weekend of the season, eh? Until it very quickly goes catastrophically wrong for your club.

With the Premier League’s return this Friday, we tasked three Ramblers well-versed in suffering to discuss the rituals, the hope, and the anguish that is so unique to the opening weekend. Plus fry-up burps, Sol Campbell’s wire, and shocking revelations that Eddie Howe has been stealing Jonjo Shelvey’s food.

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