Luton’s hairless scalp

There is only one place we can start today’s show: the Turkish Süper Lig. Despite Mauro Icardi’s penalty disaster last night, Pete tells Marcus and Andy that the original penalty taker wasn’t in the wrong. Yep.


We also suckle on some sweet, sweet Carabao, as Exeter claim a scalp over Luton - but how much hair was left? Plus, if Leicester beat Liverpool, will Harry Winks get an England call-up?


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When Poch gives you lemons

After Newcastle’s demolition job, Marcus is joined by our very own north east posse - Pete and On The Continent’s David Cartlidge!


On today’s Ramble, we celebrate Big Ange’s brilliant suit at a brilliant North London derby, find out just how many times Sean Bean said the word “b***ard” on Sunday, and discover Mauricio Pochettino’s plan to save Chelsea Football Club with a bowl of lemons. Join us!


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The Preview Show: James Water-Prowse

The Europa League returned last night and it was nice of Thames Water to honour the occasion by flooding the London Stadium.


Pete, Luke and Vish are here today to wade through that and also to try to decide what pop star should replace the Michael Jackson statue outside Craven Cottage. Plus, they get excited for the North London Derby which Luke officially crowns as Barn Burner of the Weekend.


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Ramble Reacts: A Bayern Burner!

Luke and Vish jump on after a weirdly underwhelming barn burner over in Munich, where four of Bayern’s fifty-six efforts found Man United’s net - and United somehow scored three.


We wonder if either of these sides can make a meaningful contribution in Europe, get more details on Daniel Levy’s masterplan and reserve yet more love for the greatest Englishman who’s ever lived: Jude Bellingham.


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The sausage of the sea

Newcastle sat down for negotiations with Milan last night and came away with a point! Can you call that a robbery? Pete, Luke and Vish are here to debate that on today’s show.


Elsewhere, the lads propose that Matt Le Tissier should be a playable character in the new PGA Tour Golf video game and ask the important question: why are footballers’ nepo babies not more successful?


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Derek Ten Hag

Petey’s on the pod, Petey’s on the pod!


Pete joins Marcus, Luke and Andy to run the rule on the latest Manchester United disasterclass against Brighton, which leaves Marcus asking: would Harry Maguire really make it any worse?


There’s also terrible Duran Duran puns, some ‘pissy banter’, and Pete tells us about the time he caused major delays at Luton Airport.


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Odegaard is fantastic but should he be Arsenal’s captain?

Some Arsenal fans still can’t believe they only paid £30 million to sign Martin Odegaard from Real Madrid. Given how fantastic the Norwegian international has been at the Emirates, he’s priceless.

Since moving to the Emirates, the 24-year-old has risen from strength to strength. Even his countryman, Erling Haaland, recognises his progress since becoming a Gunner.

Regardless of how good he is, Stan Collymore observes that the Arsenal playmaker needs to pull up his socks in terms of his leadership obligations as the Arsenal captain. While welcoming Arsenal’s choice to award him a new deal, Collymore feels the ex-Real Madrid man needs to push his teammates more to get the job done.Collymore said on CaughtOffSide: “Martin Odegaard is reportedly close to signing a contract extension at Arsenal.

“If and when that is officially announced, that will be really, really good news for the Gunners.

“He’s been excellent since he joined from Real Madrid a couple of years ago, and with his current deal set to expire at the end of next season, making sure they do not lose arguably their best player for next-to-nothing is really smart from Arsenal.

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Arteta makes it plain that Jesus will start for Arsenal ahead of Nketiah

During the international break, one of the most heated debates was about who, between Eddie Nketiah and Gabriel Jesus, would lead the Arsenal attack vs. Everton.

Both forwards are available for selection against Everton. But who starts the game? Mikel Arteta has hinted that Gabriel Jesus could make his first start of the season. The Brazilian missed the first two games of the season due to injury, but he came on as a substitute in the other two games Arsenal has played this season, scoring one.

Mikel Arteta gushed over his No. 9 during the news conference for Everton vs. Arsenal. The Arsenal manager recognised how the 26-year-old has changed Arsenal’s world and has made a significant contribution to the metamorphosis of his assault, giving it enthusiasm and making opponents uncomfortable.

Arteta said in the pre-match conference:“He is a tremendous player,” said Arteta, whose side finished runners-up in the Premier League in 2022-23.

“A really important player for us. He changed our world last season. You could all see that. He is going to be a really important player for us.

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Texas Senate Acquits Impeached Attorney General Ken Paxton

When 70 percent of Texas House Republicans voted to impeach Attorney General Ken Paxton in May, commentators expressed hope that the scandal-plagued lawyer would finally be held accountable for a multitude of alleged crimes—and perhaps most importantly, by members of his own party, who hold large majorities in the state legislature and who seem to have no limit of their tolerance for malfeasance commited by Republicans. 

As Mother Jones‘ Tim Murphy wrote after the vote in May:

The hearing that preceded the impeachment vote was remarkable—less because of what it uncovered, but because of who was uncovering it. For nearly a decade, Republicans in Texas have been Ken Paxton’s enablers. He has been under indictment for a felony securities fraud-charge since 2015—accused of breaking a law that he himself helped pass. A significant number of Texas Republicans, it’s true, have at times backed primary challengers promising to clean house, but conservatives have ultimately been willing to look the other way—or even gleefully join Paxton’s cause—because he’s ruthless about using his power to advance the conservative agenda. But Wednesday’s hearing was something new: A detailed accounting of his petty corruption, unprofessionalism, and abuses of power, brought to life by the only people in Texas with the clout to rein him in—his fellow Republicans.

Paxton’s impeachment came about after some of his staff members, all conservative Republicans, reported him to the FBI for alleged unethical and unusual behavior towards a real estate developer and major donor. (For a full rundown of the allegations against Paxton, read Murphy’s profile.) When they told Paxton what they’d done, he fired them. They filed a wrongful termination suit. In February this year, Paxton asked the legislature to cover the more than $3 million settlement his office negotiated with the whistleblowers, an ask that legislators rejected. Instead, they decided to investigate in secret, to see whether the complaints had merit. Turns out they did, and in May, after the release of their investigative report, the House voted to impeach Paxton. 

That burst of Republican integrity was short lived, as the Senate on Saturday refused to vote to impeach the AG on any of the 16 counts against him. In a statement released after the vote, Paxton thanked his wife Angela, who serves in the legislature and sat through his trial, which included lengthy testimony about an alleged affair he was having. (His mistress was on hand to testify but was never called.) And he promised to address Texas and the nation on Tucker Carlson’s show next week.

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Arsenal close to agreeing new £200,000-a-week deal for key player

Arsenal is on the verge of finalising a new contract with Martin Odegaard as part of their efforts to secure their captain’s long-term commitment to the club.

Odegaard’s contributions have played a significant role in positioning Arsenal as a contender in the Premier League, and he has proven to be a trustworthy asset for the team.

The Gunners have recently extended contracts for key players such as Bukayo Saka, Gabriel Martinelli, and William Saliba. Now, Odegaard is next in line for a new contract, and according to a report from Football Insider, the Norwegian midfielder is close to reaching an agreement that would see him earn over £200,000 per week.

This substantial salary would place him among the top earners at the club, underlining his vital importance to the team. Odegaard currently holds the captain’s armband, a testament to his significance to Arsenal, and it is expected that the new deal will be officially announced in the near future.

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The Race for Romney’s Senate Replacement Looks Like a MAGA-Fest

When Sen. Mitt Romney replaced Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) in 2018, he was continuing a long tradition of relatively moderate Republican senators from Utah who were able to cross the aisle and get things done. (Utah hasn’t elected a Democrat to the Senate since 1970.) That tradition is likely to end with him. Now that Romney has announced that he’s not running for reelection, the Utah GOP primary free-for-all is officially underway, with the full craziness of the party’s rightward shift already on display. 

After Hatch retired, 12 candidates jumped in to fill the Senate seat that Romney ultimately won by a large margin. Now, virtually every member of the Utah House delegation, along with Lt. Gov Deidre Henderson, seems to be mulling a campaign to replace Romney. Utah House Speaker Brad Wilson created an exploratory committee for the seat in July, and Riverton Mayor Trent Staggs declared his candidacy in May. 

In an early indication of where the race is headed, Staggs is holding a fundraiser Monday that will be headlined by Kari Lake, the failed Senate candidate from Arizona who tried to overturn both her own election loss and promoted the lie that former President Donald Trump won the 2020 election. First reported by Bryan Schott at the Salt Lake Tribune, Lake’s planned appearance was fortuitous, coming on the heels of Romney’s retirement news. Her presence will help cement Staggs’ populist bona fides early in a race that promises to be full of candidates trying to out-MAGA each other now that they no longer have Romney to beat up on. 

Also reportedly considering a run for the seat is Tim Ballard, a Mormon former Homeland Security agent and founder of an anti-human trafficking organization whose work inspired the sleeper hit movie Sound of Freedom, which has been popular with the QAnon crowd. Ballard’s campaign to replace Romney, however, may have some trouble getting off the ground. This week, the LDS church officially rebuked him after Vice reported that he had misrepresented his relationship with M. Russell Ballard, the acting president of the faith’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, to help his business ventures—the church called this “morally unacceptable.” Ballard is not related to the LDS church official. 

Utah House Speaker Wilson comes to the race with low numbers—a July poll found him winning the support of just 7 percent of voters in a Senate race without Romney—but he has by far the best fundraising record. Wilson already has more than $2 million in his campaign chest, of which about half came from his own pocket. He has been positioning himself as Romney’s heir apparent, taking the lead on efforts to save the dying Great Salt Lake, a popular cause.

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Kiwior sends a message to Arteta about his best position

Jakub Kiwior has conveyed a message to Mikel Arteta regarding his preferred position within the team as the manager tinkers with his lineup selections.

Arsenal has implemented alterations to their system this season, and injuries have necessitated some adjustments. Kiwior, originally recruited as a centre-back, has been deployed at left-back in at least one match during the current campaign.

Kiwior’s versatility has proven to be beneficial for the team, offering more options and opportunities for players to feature. While he has adapted well to playing wherever his manager assigns him, he recently shared insights into his favoured position within the team during a recent interview.

“I still think that my favourite position is centre-back,” Kiwior told Sky Sports as quoted by Football London

“However, it’s the coach who decides where I will play before the match, I know that.

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Chris Sutton gives his prediction for Everton v Arsenal

Chris Sutton has forecasted that Arsenal will secure a victory in their upcoming Premier League clash against Everton.

Arsenal is well aware that facing Everton poses a formidable challenge, and they are expected to approach the match with a high level of seriousness.

Sutton’s prediction is that Arsenal will emerge triumphant, although he acknowledges that it could be a demanding contest in which Everton may manage to find the net.

He predicts on the BBC:

“Can Sean Dyche do it again against Mikel Arteta?

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Wenger explains why Arsenal has a real chance of winning the Premier League

Arsene Wenger has shared his thoughts on why he believes the Gunners have a chance to win the Premier League ahead of Manchester City in the current campaign.

Arsenal came close to ending their decade-long wait for a league title last season but ultimately fell short. However, the club has bolstered its squad by signing some talented players in the recent transfer window, with the aim of preparing the team for the challenges ahead this season.

While City is still regarded as the favourites to win the title, they have faced challenges, including the loss of Ilkay Gundogan last summer and the injury-prone nature of Kevin de Bruyne. These two players played pivotal roles in City’s success last season, and Wenger believes their absence could open the door for Arsenal to contend for the league title.

“I believe as well that City, having lost De Bruyne for a long period and Gundogan, who was a very important player, even if they are a top team I don’t disagree with that, maybe they (Arsenal) can take advantage of it,” Wenger told the Seaman Says podcast

“But we have to deal with the Champions League and that costs points as well.”

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Trump Schools Evangelicals on How to Talk About Abortion

In dueling presidential campaign speeches to Evangelical leaders Friday, former President Donald Trump sounded like the moderate Republican in the room, at least when it came to abortion.

At the Family Research Council’s Pray Vote Stand conference in DC, the former president ticked off a long list of his pro-life accomplishments from his time in the White House, most notably nominating three conservative Supreme Court justices who helped overturn Roe v Wade last year. And he invoked the false trope that Democrats support “post-birth abortion,” claiming that “They’ll kill babies in the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth month, and they’ll even kill babies in some cases after birth. They are the radicals.”

But he also warned the fervently pro-life crowd that Republican extremism on abortion was losing them elections. “Like President Ronald Reagan before me, I support the three exceptions: for rape, incest, and the life of the mother. And again, that’s a decision that you’re going to have to make for yourself, and you have to go by your heart and what you feel,” he said. “But I do, and I will say politically, it’s very tough. It’s a very tough decision for some people. But very, very hard on elections—very, very hard…We had midterms and this was an issue.”

He went on to gently criticize Republican politicians for their extreme anti-abortion rhetoric. “They just don’t know how to talk about this issue,” Trump said. “It’s a complex issue…And if they don’t speak about it correctly, they’re not going to win.…I watch some of these politicians speaking and it’s so bad. They don’t understand what it is that they’re talking about, and they lost a lot of elections, and we can’t let that happen.”

“Now we can win elections on this issue,” Trump continued. “But it’s very delicate, and explaining it properly is extremely important.”

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James Maddison defends Declan Rice’s shooting after EA FC24 ratings revealed

James Maddison expressed his surprise at the shooting rating assigned to Declan Rice in the latest edition of the EA FC24 game, which is set to be released.

While Rice is widely recognised as one of the Premier League’s top midfielders, he is not known for his frequent shooting or goal-scoring prowess. His primary role involves other aspects of the game, and he consistently fulfils his responsibilities, earning praise from his manager and teammates.

In the EA FC24 game, Rice was assigned a shooting rating of 65, which reflects his limited use of this particular attribute. Maddison, who plays for Tottenham, appears to disagree with this rating. He suggested that players should not receive higher shooting ratings only when they shoot frequently, implying that other factors should be considered in assessing a player’s shooting ability.

He tells the England YouTube channel:

“I don’t think you have higher shooting, just because you don’t shoot that much, his little far-post whips are a joke, but you don’t shoot that much.”

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Arsenal star has covered the third most distance in the League this season

Declan Rice has made a highly impressive start to his Arsenal career, and a recent statistic underscores why he is rapidly becoming a key player for the Gunners in the current campaign.

Rice’s transition to life at the Emirates has been seamless, to the extent that he appears as if he’s been an Arsenal player for a substantial period. Widely regarded as one of the Premier League’s premier midfielders, he is demonstrating his worth as an astute acquisition for Arsenal.

Despite not primarily occupying the role of a box-to-box midfielder, the English international has covered a considerable amount of ground for Arsenal this season. In a new statistic tracking the players who have covered the most distance in the league this season, Rice impressively secured the third spot.

Dejan Kulusevski of Tottenham ranked first, having covered approximately 47.07 kilometres, while Manchester United’s Bruno Fernandes came in second, having covered a distance of 46.84 kilometres, as reported by the Daily Mail. Rice claimed the third position, having covered 46.75 kilometres, affirming his unwavering commitment to giving his all for the team.

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Everton could match a century-long record against Arsenal this weekend

Arsenal is gearing up to face Everton in the Premier League this weekend, and it’s undeniably one of their most challenging fixtures of the season, particularly considering their history of losses to the Toffees.

Everton experienced a significant uplift when they introduced a new manager last season, and one of the outcomes of their resurgence was a victory over Arsenal. This result had a substantial impact on Arsenal’s title aspirations, preventing them from clinching the Premier League.

Now, Mikel Arteta’s squad is determined to reverse their recent string of disappointing results against Everton. On the other side, Evertonians are eager to secure their first win of the season following another difficult start to the campaign.

According to Arsenal’s website, Everton has emerged victorious in four of their last five home league encounters with Arsenal, including the previous three. Should Everton manage to triumph again this weekend, it would mark the first time they’ve secured four consecutive home wins against Arsenal since they accomplished this feat between 1910 and 1913. This historical context adds an extra layer of significance to the match for both teams.

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Manchester United could challenge Arsenal for Serie A winner

Manchester United is currently grappling with a winger issue that might necessitate their foray into the transfer market for a new player. Interestingly, they are eyeing a player whom Arsenal had expressed interest in during the previous transfer window.

Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, who had an outstanding season at Napoli, was linked with a move to Arsenal during the last transfer window. However, the deal did not materialise, and he remained with the Italian club as Arsenal pursued other transfer targets.

Kvaratskhelia continues to be regarded as one of the top wingers in Europe, and Arsenal could still be considering a move for him. However, a recent report on Football365 has unveiled Manchester United’s keen interest in securing his signature.

United currently faces a situation where Jadon Sancho and Antony are unavailable, potentially necessitating the addition of a new winger to their squad. As a result, Kvaratskhelia has emerged as their primary target, setting the stage for a potential showdown with Arsenal over the acquisition of the Georgian winger.

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Javier Zamora’s Fight Against the Pulitzer Prizes—and American Exceptionalism

On Tuesday, the Pulitzer Prize Board expanded the eligibility for the books, drama, and music awards by including artists who are not US citizens. The new policy, which begins in the 2025 cycle, will include “permanent residents of the United States and those who have made the United States their longtime primary home.” Over 2,500 entries are submitted to the Pulitzer’s 23 categories every year, and only 8 receive the $15,000 cash award for books, drama, or music. There was some irony in the fact that the prestigious prize established in 1917 in the will of Hungarian immigrant Joseph Pulitzer to celebrate American art and journalism would exclude noncitizens. However, this policy has been a defining feature of eligibility for all the Pulitzer categories since their respective inceptions. 

Writers have denounced the Pulitzer’s citizenship requirement in the past but failed to solicit a response. But then, Javier Zamora, poet, and author of Unaccompanied and Solito, petitioned the Pulitzer Prize Board to open its literature awards to noncitizens in a searing Los Angeles Times op-ed in July. His 2022 memoir, which hit the New York Times bestseller list, was nonetheless ineligible to receive one of literature’s highest honors because of Zamora’s citizenship status. “After 19 years here without a green card, then four years with an EB-1 ‘Einstein Visa,’ after earning a master’s degree in writing from New York University and fellowships from Harvard and Stanford, I still wasn’t enough to be equally considered among my literary peers,” he wrote in the Los Angeles Times.

Zamora, who traveled from El Salvador to the US without his parents as a child in the late 90s, was soon joined by a coalition of high-profile authors who publicly petitioned the Pulitzer Prize Board and denounced the use of citizenship requirements. “Whether undocumented writers are writing about the border or not,” they wrote in Literary Hub, “their voices are quintessentially part of what it means to belong and struggle to belong in this and to this nation.” In response, the Board amended the citizenship policy and pledged their commitment to “ensuring that the Prizes are inclusive and accessible to those producing distinguished work in Books, Drama, and Music.” The same week the Pulitzer Prizes changed its policy, a federal judge in Texas declared DACA, the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program created to protect thousands of undocumented youth from deportation, illegal. To Zamora, the two announcements—and the continued enforcement of restrictive citizenship policies at organizations such as the National Book Awards and PEN Amerca—are linked.

I caught up with Javier via Zoom to talk about Pulitzer’s announcement, nationalism in the literary world, and the work that remains to be done.

When did you first realize you were ineligible for the Pulitzer Prize for literature due to your citizenship status?

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